Today's society and media constantly push a message that you are not good enough, you need more and you must have better. Which consequently distracts you from focusing on the great things you have already.
The need to "have more" all the time and indulge excessively always leaves you feeling less than. There's always a void in your life when you are not content and grateful for what you already have.
Let me be clear, this does not mean you cannot strive for great things and goals, but if you are not grateful for the little things, how can you ever be grateful for the bigger things life has in store for you.
"There are no quick fixes in life"... A quote that has been heard many times, but is often not understood. Change takes time, and not 2 minutes on the microwave type time. More like 2 year or maybe 12 years depending on how long it takes you. But one thing is for certain, to obtain supreme confidence will take your time and effort.
"Rome was not built in one day"
There are a 5 ways you can begin to build your confidence:
1. Unplug from the World - Social Media, TV, etc
It's so easy for you to compare your life to everyone else's life on social media. Everyone likes to post pics on FB and instagram of either their new job or blossoming relationship, and it only reminds you of how shitty your life is right now. Those thoughts of lack will only beget more lack, so eliminate them.
The TV has a very persuasive way of making you feel like your life is worthless. The celebrities, reality tv shows, etc. all can make you feel envious. Some say "I see that stuff, but it doesn't affect me". You may think it does not affect you, but the subconscious mind does not reason... [I'll save that for another article].
- Deactivate all social media accounts, temporarily.
- Limit how much TV you watch. Be conscious of what you are watching.
"You are what you look upon"
2. Release fears through fire - The paper burning method
Once you have gotten the distractions out of the way, it is time to release the insecurities you have mentally bounded upon yourself.
One a piece of paper, write down all your insecurities, doubts about yourself, and everything that is negative in your perception of yourself.
Take a minute to read over it, make sure everything you want to release is written down. Then take the piece of paper outside and let it burn. Psychologically, this exercise allows the subconscious mind to believe those things written down on the paper no longer exist.
- Remember, just because you have burned this paper does not mean that you automatically have instant confidence.
- You must continue to reinforce the thought of full confidence, not lack.
3. Know Thy Self/Daily Affirmations - Man in the mirror affect
"Confidence comes from the inside, out". Spend time by yourself, get to know you; meditate. Although people think mediation is some crazy voodoo religion practice, it is actually the gateway to your source of who you are [read this article on mediation http://stovibc.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-power-of-meditation.html].
Buy a cheap journal from walmart and begin to write down your thoughts and feelings about things. You can learn a lot about yourself from writing. Once the pen gets going, it reveals some of your most inner desires.
When you wake up in the morning, right before you HOPEFULLY brush your teeth, look at yourself in the mirror. Tell yourself, you are beautiful, you are smart, "Dammmmnn, can I get yo number!" lol. Have fun with it! Compliment yourself. If you don't, who will?
4. Take your show on the road
Feeling good about yourself in your own space is one thing, but being around others is another ball game. If you truly believe in yourself and know you are confident in who you are, it will show around others. Confidence will ooze from your pores. Others will see a glow that shines brighter than any other stage light can beam.
But, if you get around others and your shoulders begin to slouch, become paranoid and self-conscious about your look, then you may need to continue working. However, this is not a bad thing. Think of it as a measuring stick.
Talking to strangers is a good way to build confidence! These days, it's so easy to walk around on your phone and not speak to anyone. For some, it takes a lot of courage to talk to a stranger. This builds confidence and develops random friendships! You can meet very interesting people this way.
5. Resilience
"If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again"
Obtaining supreme confidence can be achieved with two simple things: Time and Effort. There will be times where you feel like you are not where you want to be, but keep your eyes on what you want.
If you happen to backslide in your progress and begin to feel insecure again, take a deep breath, remind yourself of who you are, and go from there.
The process will not be easy, but it certainly worth it. If you do not deal with it now it will not go away, and the consequences of having no confidence will only become greater as your life goes on.
Everyone is different, and we all have different methods that resonate with us differently, so by all means take what you will from this and use it how you see fit. There are various ways to build your confidence, and these are but a few of them. But one thing is for certain, you cannot have confidence without knowing yourself, first.
As I stated in the first post, and will continue to post at the end of each blog, you can be one of two things: Proactive or Reactive. YOU CHOOSE!
~ STOVI BC
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**Check out my previous posts in these links here:
- http://stovibc.blogspot.com/2013/08/know-thy-self_18.html
- http://stovibc.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-power-of-meditation.html
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